can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
