how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
