a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
