Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
