Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
