Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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