I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
