Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
He is an equal opportunity slut.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Randomize
