I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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