Just mADE A PArabola og urine
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
