Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
