i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
