He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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