I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
