i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
