She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
