On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
