Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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