So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
