Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
