I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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