You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
please come you make the beer taste better
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
