It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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