He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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