know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
