I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
