sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
