what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
