good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
