Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
We left the knife in your bed.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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