THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Randomize