but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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