Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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