Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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