I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
