The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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