Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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