She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
