Apparently you make a good broom.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
