Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
