Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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