Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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