I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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