I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
