You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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