for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
