Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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