so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
