then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
two words: eviction party
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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