Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Randomize
