its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
