I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
